Cold feet…

I keep turning up the heat but I can’t get my little feet to warm up.

Technically size ten (possibly ten and a half) isn’t exactly considered “little”…but I use it as a term of endearment not a measurement of size. (I really like my feet!)

The word “little” used to really tick me off. I’d hear my girlfriends say it to each other all the time. Things like, “oh my God that little dress is gorgeous on you!” or “that’ll look sweet with a little black cardigan” or “Where’d you get those little capris?”

It made me want to scream!

Thankfully, no one ever says “You should get an over sized 3X cardigan and that outfit will be perfect!” Nope…couldn’t use the word “little” when referring to my black dress.

Let’s be realistic here…I’m five foot nine and my feet are size ten and a half (possibly eleven). If I had little feet, I’d tip over!

When I was young and I’d get a new pair of shoes…my father would tell me to “throw away the shoes and wear the boxes!”  One time, I actually stuffed my size tens into a size eight and I was so blistered by the end of the day I couldn’t walk for a week. Through my teen years, I got so used to wearing footwear that was too small that I still scrunch my toes inside my shoes and honestly have to think about relaxing and straightening them…quite often getting calluses on the tips of my wee tootsies!

That’s right…I said wee!

My ice skates were always too small…freezing my feet within moments of stepping on the ice. Make no wonder I didn’t enjoy skating. The girls I hung out with made so much fun of my toes that I refused to wear flip flops until I was well into my thirties! I admit…my toes are abnormally long and may possibly have a few extra knuckles but squished up they’re actually kind of cute!

That’s right…I said cute!

Last week, I tried on my old cowboy boots and aside from the dry rot…they were about two sizes too small. I’m thinking about wearing them anyway as a trip to the tack shop this week had me realizing I wouldn’t be getting a new pair any time soon and besides…I’m not too sure they have them in my size!

So there you have it. I have clown feet. Clown feet that feel like huge chunks of ice with no chance of defrosting any time soon. I should buy myself a new pair of shoes, throw them away and wear the boxes instead…at least they’ll fit the blocks of ice protruding from the bottoms of my legs. Then maybe I’ll pick myself up a little sweater to complete my ridiculous look. And maybe a little pair of pants.

I’m a little bit cold!