Verclempt…

We take these darlings home from the hospital…a whole lifetime of love and adventure ahead of them. We learn to swaddle them, bathe them, ponder their every need.

We laugh at their fat little knees, their perfect toes…their bright eyes and glorious smiles.

Their laugh…the first time we hear it…it’s magical.

We take photo after photo filling baby albums…trying to capture exactly what it is that we’re feeling.

Love….and pride….both greater than anyone could have ever described.

We follow them around. Trying to get the perfect picture. The one that shows their distaste of pablum suddenly in their mouths. It’s not long before we try lemon…just to get that crazy look. We take photos of them after we discovered they’ve emptied their dresser drawers…again. The shocked look on their face when they finally let go of the coffee table to walk to your arms. We try to capture the joy they feel the first time they’re in the tub…kicking and splashing…surprised. On a swing. In the backyard pool. The first taste of birthday cake. The first time their feet touch sand. The first day of school.

Somehow, we capture memories…but we can never quite capture the feeling.

Today I took 195 photos. None of them show what I want you to see. None of them can quite describe how amazed I am at this wonderful girl. My heart aches with pride.

Yesterday, I took her home from the hospital…kept her safe…swaddled her tight. Discovered the perfect position to get her to sleep…on my chest…all night long…her ear to my heart. I wasn’t sure if I knew how to be a mom. I was terrified of messing up…of wrecking her.

Today, I watched this amazing young woman…a whole world ahead of her…safe…swaddled…protected…loved.

Happy.

I chased her around…trying to get the perfect photo. The one that shows how much I love…but I couldn’t.

It’s in me.

I’m bursting.

– – – – – – – – –

I only tried the lemon thing once… I laughed so hard I thought I’d die.

It drove me crazy that she’d only sleep on my chest. It was a lot of late nights and tired mornings. I went to the doctor to see how I could stop it…she told me to enjoy it…it wouldn’t last long.

She still empties her dresser drawers, leaving everything on the floor…I don’t take photos of the mess anymore.

They grow up fast…I just never knew how fast.