#Menopause … As if I needed more change in my life!

A few weeks ago, I used the hashtag #menopause on an Instagram post and much to my surprise, I realized it hadn’t been used all that many times before.

I spend hours each week curating content for social media and trying to figure out the best way to reach my blog readership and one little hashtag on a social media platform that’s used mainly by younger people, had me realizing I was literally and figuratively, TALKING TO THE WALL!

I’M TURNING FIFTY…and I really want to talk about MENOPAUSE! 

For example…did you know there were THREE stages of this unruly phenomena. THREE. Not one. AND, the actual “menopause” stage doesn’t occur until you’re 12 MONTHS PERIOD FREE which means that this thing I’m going through right now…Perimenopause…is some sort of ruthless count down where every now and then you’re whipped right back to the beginning knowing you’ve another full 12 months to go before you actually get anywhere. Slowly you start counting and you’re four months into your 12 month count down and WHAM…your period comes and there you go again…back to square 1 where somewhere, off in the distance, you can hear the strange cackling of the sadistic Menopause Monster and you’re left feeling completely defeated and starting from scratch.

WHO KNEW!?

Also…at no point was I privy to the fact that my head was going to be a little bit “off” during the process…along with a whole lot of stupid. For example, words…full nouns…they’re suddenly lost where I’m trying to say something and it’s right on the tip of my tongue and “poof”…it’s GONE. Can’t find it. Much as I try and pause to think and recall and fight through the fog while I’m attempting to locate the word “pineapple” from the recesses of my brain…all that’s coming from my mouth is “platypus” and OBVIOUSLY THESE TWO THINGS ARE NOT RELATED IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER SO WHY CAN’T I FIND THE WORD!

And, not only am I forgetting whole words…I’m forgetting whole things…like where I parked my car!

There was a time I was the master of multitask, to-do lists and juggling and at the moment, I can hardly remember where I left the pen let alone know what to put on the list! Honestly who knew ovaries had that much power and WHY must they make me question whether or not I turned off the flat-iron EVERY SINGLE TIME I LEAVE THE HOUSE even on the days I didn’t even use the flatiron!!!

Most days lately I’m foggy at best and completely loopy at my worst. Throw in an emotional wreck on top of an already overly dramatic and emotional person to begin with and I’m a little overwhelmed with my drama-queen self!

Things are bugging me. For example, I can’t stand the sound of my kid kissing the dog, or the feel of tags on the insides of my shirt, or the bracelets jingling on my arm, or the shoe on my left foot, or pants, or any kind of bra whatsoever…all this and much, much more will cause bouts confusion and a possible need for a nap.

And apparently…this is all “normal.”

I’m soon to be 50 and acting like an unruly, irrational, hormonal 13-year-old but I’m told that I shouldn’t feel bad about any of it except that NOTHING FEELS RIGHT and the damn tag inside my shirt is going to be the end of me even while I try to type this post!!!

I’ll be honest, I thought I’d escape menopause which is probably part of the reason it’s caught me so off guard. Years ago, when having trouble finding the right birth control as apparently I had an overabundance of estrogen in my system…I had a doctor tell me that “it may be difficult to deal with now but you’ll be thankful in the future as you’ll more than likely have an easy time through menopause.”

A DOCTOR TOLD ME!

I clung on that advice. I truly wore it like a badge of honour knowing that I would be one of the very few that got away with an easy time during “the change” but I’m here to tell you…THE DOCTOR WAS WRONG!

Hot sweats, panic attacks, chills after the hot sweats, lack of sleep, crankiness, fogginess, loss of memory, loopiness, feelings of being irrational, total exhaustion, lack of motivation, thinning hair, greasy hair, dry skin, weird hormonal bursts of craziness, night sweats, tears…I’m a freakin’ barrel of laughs these days!

Poor Megan has to live with me. And Noah just arrived home from university so he’s about to be pleasantly surprised. And CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE THE SCISSORS ARE SO I CAN CUT THIS TAG OFF MY SHIRT!

There aren’t a lot of bloggers out there talking about Menopause so officially, as of right now, I’m adding it to the list of topics I’m going to talk about so that the next time I use the hashtag #Menopause on Instagram…I won’t feel so old.

Welcome to my menopause journey folks! From early indications, it’s bound to be one heck of a ride.