Being present…

Last night, sitting around with a couple of girlfriends…we chit chatted about the year ahead, our expectations and what we’re working towards.

My friend, Spray (a name she received from a single hilarious moment involving a spray bottle), spoke quite openly and eloquently about a few things that I gotta say, had me realizing how alike we all are.

Actually, we all had things to say except that Spray had a little more to add…and when she realized that holding a napkin gave her the right to speak, she held the napkin often…announcing for everyone to pay attention because she…well…she had the napkin!

A discussion revolved around Friends, being Present, being Kind…not once did someone say they wanted to lose weight, quit smoking, drink less or exercise more, which, could mean…we’re all ok with the way we are…or that the other things are just more important.

Being “Present” is a big one for me. Over the last few weeks I’ve been trying to live in the moment. Live in my heart. Not over-think. Be present.

Fact is…I’m busy. We all are. I’m working constantly to get my life in order and wearing a superwoman cape like there’s no tomorrow…but I find that sometimes…I’m pushing the kids away with my “not nows” and “maybe laters.”

That’s not cool.

I know I’m working my ass off to try to get some sort of future for myself but what am I doing this for if it isn’t for them?

If I’m so busy with everything else…I’m going to miss some amazing moments. My kids are growing up faster than you can possibly imagine and it won’t be too long before they’re gone from the house and if I’m so bamboozled on a regular basis…I’m bound to miss some really awesome stuff I can’t get back.

The other night, while on the couch with my ever-present computer on my lap…no longer in my office but curled up in the living room with a great amount of unfinished work before me…Bones squished herself into the wee spot between me and the arm of the couch and began working on her math homework.

It was annoying.

I was trying to type and design and tweet and everything else that was grabbing my attention and she was bumping into my elbow and asking questions about area and volume and just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse…Spiderman took up residence on my other side…bumping into my other elbow as he made room for the dog.

He was chatting about his math test and things that were coming up and the next thing you know, he and Bones were working on her math homework and the book was being passed back and forth over me so that Spiderman could read the questions out loud and from time to time…they were asking me to explain things and needing my computer’s calculator and I was trying to type and they were in my way and we were all squished on one cushion with the dog and all of a sudden…I simply closed my computer.

I put it away…and we finished the math work together.

And…when it was done…it turned into a great amount of laughter as I lay on the couch, tears pouring down my face, as Bones and Spiderman entertained me with one of the most ridiculous and hilarious dance parties I’ve ever witnessed! It involved a whole lot of arm waving, a hockey stick, some hip wiggling, a great amount of dance moves from the 80s and a dog…jumping and barking through it all while I couldn’t quite catch my breath for the amount of laughter.

I almost missed it.

A few weeks ago, while sitting in the rink watching a game with Spiderman, he out-of-the-blue said, “Mom, it really sucks when I’m on the bench and look up in the stands and see you on your phone.”

My heart cracked.

I can’t stop being busy. I can’t stop running around from rink to barn…can’t stop trying to get my name out there for this new business…can’t stop checking my emails and meeting deadlines…can’t stop chasing my tail…selling my book…trying to keep on top of the laundry and cleaning and cooking and all of the things that need to get done while I’m raising these kids and getting my future sorted…I can’t stop…

But I can damn well be present in the moment.

The work can wait ’til I’m sitting behind my desk. The world isn’t going to end if I don’t check my phone while I’m with my kids. The bits and pieces of everything I’m trying to get done…squished into the times that I’m trying to get other things done…can wait.

Last night, while Spray held onto that napkin and gathered all of our attention to tell us that we needed to be more present…she was right.

We’re busy…every single one of us. We’re living in an age where people are fighting for our attentions and with the technology available to us…everyone is looking for an immediate responses but I’m making a promise to myself and my children to be where I’m supposed to be at that very moment…to be in the present.

Which simply means some things may have to wait.

Because other things…are far more important.