Crumbling down…

It’s been one of those weekends.

Quiet.

And by quiet… I guess I should clarify that I went to parties both Friday and Saturday nights… had brunch with my favorite Tweep… did homework with Snuff… and threw in a few hockey games for good measure.

But quiet.

“In my head quiet” where I’m ecstatically happy and ultimately melancholy at the same time.

I see the future. With the hard work behind me and a path paved before me… I see it. A wall, once built for the duration is crumbling and I’m unsure where to stand.

But I’m done. Completely and utterly done with everything that hurt me. I feel nothing but the freedom of letting go and it scares the hell out of me for as much as it killed me to be there… at least I was tethered to something.

There’s a fear in moving forward. Of wanting more… believing you could have it. Trusting you won’t get hurt.

But the fear is so much calmer than the pain of staying still.

So it’s been a quiet weekend. Of thought and reflection… figuring out where I’m headed and how I want to get there. Knowing for the first time that the past no longer has a hold on me. It’s changed me, but it doesn’t own me.

I’m free.

Hopeful. Thankful.

And perfectly happy to be moving forward, while the walls are crumbling down.