Dear 18 year old self…

You see… I know you think you have it hard at times but I have to tell you… you’re in the middle of a great big party! Years from now you’ll look back on these adventures and wish the time back. There’s a whole lot of good going on right now… forming the person you’ll be in the years to come.

That guy… the quarterback… you made the right choice there. He’ll break your heart but will continue to be one of your best friends in the years to come. You’ll need him when you’re going through one of the most horrible events in your life which I’d like to warn you about… but unfortunately… you’ll need to go through it to discover who you really are. He’s good for you. In fact, all those boys you hang around with are good for you. They’ll never judge you and will always support you. They lift you up. You can count on them.  Someday just knowing that will hold you together.

The funny little Indian boy in your English class will change your life. Sadly he’s not going to live to see his eighteenth birthday as he’ll be on a plane in one of the worst acts of terrorism Canada will see. There will be other horrific events like this in your lifetime and you should know that the world we live in is a scary place.  Treasure every single day… and the people who are in your life.

For God’s sake get the scrunchy out of your hair and never, ever get another perm!  Also… neon is hideous… acid wash looks ugly and what on earth would posses you to believe you’re fat? You’re tall and thin and absolutely lovely. Stop wasting so much time trying to be perfect and worrying about what other’s think! People like you.  Despite what you do to sabotage your true self… people like you. You’re too wrapped up in trying to fit in. Stop trying to be someone you’re not! You’ll face great heartache when it comes to girlfriends… but don’t be discouraged. Eventually you’ll be surrounded by a remarkable group of women who’ll mean the world to you.

Being a parent is really tough and you aren’t exactly easy to raise. You should tell your parents more about what’s going on… where you go… who you’re hanging out with. You may be grounded a lot but it would be for your own good!  Your brothers… they aren’t all that bad.  I know they’re pretty annoying at the moment but they’ll come to mean so very much to you. It’s that connection with history, traditions and wonderful memories that will bind you together. You’re lucky for the family you have… two amazing parents who love each other deeply… two brothers who want what’s best for you… and an amazing extension of grandparents, Aunt and Uncles and cousins who will always be a wonderful part of your life.

You’re going to pass up that opportunity to go to Carleton and will think of it through the years… wondering if you missed out.  You’ll dabble in a lot of different things but eventually you’ll figure out a way to get your words on paper and believe it or not… people will read.  Writing brings you joy. You’ll hear this time and again… do what you love and the rest will follow.

I can give you a lot of advice on things that are ahead of you but all of these events will make you the person you are. You’re strong… you’re confident… you’re an amazing mom and friend.  Be yourself… your true self.  The only advice I really wish you’d follow is to stand up for yourself. You’re worth it. In your attempt to avoid conflict you’ll see a lot of pain but there’s nothing wrong with standing your ground… standing up for yourself… holding true to your convictions. Be proud of yourself.

Enjoy what’s ahead for you… where you are right now!  It’s a fabulous ride with many ups and downs and loopdy-loops but you’ll come out on both feet… happy, strong and very much loved.

Me.
xx